i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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