I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
