I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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