At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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