There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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