Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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