He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
