My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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