You work out of a Hotel?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize