So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So much rum. So many feels.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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