So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
