I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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