I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize