Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
