i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Houston, we have a squirter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
