Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
