this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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