My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
