You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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