i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
