Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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