Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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