if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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