What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize