You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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