Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
