I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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