I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
