Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
