So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
