We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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