i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
