That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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