I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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