Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
