doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
