Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
