In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
