this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
