Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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