Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
