would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
