Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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