PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
