My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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