i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
