Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
