you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
