If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
