wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
