You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
