you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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