I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
