U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
