I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
