i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
