Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
